Life thru a lens

All the lights are off. The only light I have is the one that I get from the monitor. I sit in my sleeping t-skirt; an old, big, blue Levi�s t-skirt dad bought me years ago. I got my headphones on so I can listen to music without make so much noise and disturb my neighbors. Thinking about neighbors, makes me think of Bryan Adams. He had an album called �Waking up the neighbors. I remember I bought that on LP years ago.

I wish I had an LP player. I would�ve been so cool. Then I could borrow mum and dads LP and listen to some old eighties music. They got a lot of cool music on LPs. Last Christmas we had a family dinner; my parents, my sister and her boyfriend. After dinner, wine and other refreshments we decided to play some music. We started off with some CD�s but we ran out of good ones, so we turned on the LP player. We played a lot of old LP�s. So many memories attached.

I�ve been searching for used LP players online and I�ve found a few. They�re all so expensive. At least the good ones. Sigh. Right now I feel like I can�t afford anything at all.

When there is something I want, but can�t afford, I tell myself I have to start save up money to get it. It would be ok if it was one or two things, but when it becomes four or five there is no way I can afford all of it even if I started saving. Right now there are at least four things I badly want:

LP player
enlarge a picture I�ve taken and hang it on my wall (or maybe two or three not so big)
livingroom table; black glass on top and steel legs.
brown autumn / winter jacket

I really don�t need the table, so I guess that�s at the bottom of the list. I have a lot of jackets, so that�s not something I really need either, but it would be nice to have a brown jacket. �There would be really nice to have...� I could say that about a lot. You can�t have everything you want.

The two last weeks has gone by quite well regarding not spending so much money. It got a little out of control this weekend though. Yesterday I bought chicken and ice cream on the grocery store. I also bought icing sugar for the cream puffs. Today I bought myself a pair of brown pants and some stockings.

The pants were some really cheap pants (200 NOK) from H&M. And the stockings were something I really needed. If I�m going to wear some of the at least twenty skirts I have, I have to have some stockings that don�t have holes in them. I�ve wore a skirt the four last days. I have to wear them more often. I got them for a reason, don�t I?

I�m not used to be so careful about my money. It�s hard. Tomorrow I have to decide if I�m going to ask Sissel if we�re going out eating before the concert or if I�m just going to eat at home and just go to the concert. It would be really nice to go out and eat, but can I afford it? Is that where I should place my money?

I�m so glad it�s only 36 days until my birthday and 90 days until Christmas. I feel like it�s only those two days that will bring me something new this year.

My oh my � do I complain! I should be happy with what I got. I�m not broke. I do have food. I have lots of music. I have clothes to wear. I have a digital camera. I have an mp3 player. I have a new big apartment. I have hot running water in my shower. I have drinkable water. I have some extra ordinary cool red Dr. Martens boots. I have a computer and a free internet connection.

What is there really to complain about?

Ciao!