Life thru a lens

I'm not dead, I'm well alive. I'm just not here for the moment.

I know I should be happy. I got two and a half days more to work and then I get three weeks vacation. I'm going to see U2 in a week and I'm going to visit Chantie next thursday. I'm 95 % for sure going to visit Ranjan, a good friend of mine that lives on the west coast of Norway.

Despite all this - I feel blah! Just blah!

My lust to write in my diary has dropped. That's why i've been away. Lets hope my mood will be better soon, so i can update more often again.

Mum and dads react (read here and here is still nagging me. They're not going to Amsterdam though, but still... Mum is worried as hell. I'm not sure what dad thinks. I haven't asked him and he hasn't said anything.

I know I shouldn't care about my parents. All my friends and co-workers that i've told that I'm going says only positiv things about this. My sister too.

Still all the positiv things, I feel a bit blah about this trip. I'm kind of scared of going too (NOT my parents fault), because I have to speak english for four days and I think my english suck. I know things will be ok, I will have tons of fun and my travel dictionary that I'm going to buy and bring will help me when I need it.

My mind is also preoccupaid because I'm finally going to sell my apartment and buy a new one. There is shitload to do, heavy stuff and it's kind of scary. I signed some papers yesterday with a real-astate guy. It's finally going to happpen. I'm going to leave my apartment. :-( My dear apartment.

Earlier today I thought it maybe was best to call off the whole thing and just live with the apartment I got.

It's raining outside. YAY!

I'm going home today to my parents house. I don't want to be alone in my apartment. I don't feel like beeing social and do things with my friends either, since I'm in such a bad mood, so my parents have to deal with my and my mood. Heh!

I might have to make the dinner even though I'm going home, but at least there will be someone at the dinner table and there will be someone to talk to.

I have to talk to them about the apartment-thingy. And my trip to Chantie. I emailed them yesterday with a lot of info on what I will be doing, where I will be traveling and stuff - just too keep them informed. They didn't have time to read the email they said. I'm not sure that was the real reason. I suspect that they didn't want to read it because then it becomes more real that I'm actually going. It's just a wild guess. I said to mum on sunday that if she had any questions she just had to ask them. She had a lot, but she didn't want to think about the trip so she hadn't asked me anything.

Stupid parents. Some times I wonder why I love them so much. It doesn't take long to remind me why though. :-)

Oh man - the rain is pouring down.

Ciao!

Ps. I already think I dislike my layout. Right now it's too bright and summerish. I might go back to the last one I had. I fits me better....