Life thru a lens

The weekend was emotional.

I texted Gro when I went home on friday saying I felt really guilty for changing the plans totally. I told her that Linda couldn�t be driven to Oslo early on saturday as planned, but I also said I changed the plans because she didn�t gave me an answer of what she and Nicolay wanted.

I know I should�ve said it to her on the phone, but I�m not got with emotions and telling people stuff like that. It�s easier to say something via a text message or e-mail than on the phone or face to face. I got something to work on there, that�s for sure.

Gro texted me back telling me not to feel guilty and that it was ok that I�ve had changed the plans. I felt better after that. But it didn�t take long before my mood dropped. Gro and I, we had planned to meet right before 6 PM. But Linda texted me later that evening telling me that OJ couldn�t drive us before 6 PM, so we couldn�t be there before at least 6.30 PM. I had to call Gro saturday morning asking if it was ok that we met an hour later. I felt so bad when I made that call. Once more did I have to change our plans.

It went well. I told Gro that the concert didn�t start before 8 PM; someone on the radio had said that. Then she suggested that we could meet 7 PM. I said that was ok. I made her make the decision, just so this shouldn�t be all my decisions.

The problems didn�t stop there. There was a count down there (a clock) so we would know when they started. When the concert were about to begin, we had to decide where we should stand. Linda and Tonje wanted to be in the front row, Gro and Nicolay wanted to be a bit away from the scene and the crowd. I wanted to be in the front, so I went with Linda and Tonje. Once more did I ditch Gro. I thought about it through the two first songs and after a few more songs in the front row, I went back to be with Gro again. I told her I had been to the toilet, witch I had, and that I wanted to be with here too. I stayed with her and Nicolay for quite a few songs, before I went back to Linda and Tonje. When the extra songs begun we all went further back (because the lead singer went and sang at a scene in the back of the tent) and I stood beside Gro again.

We said our goodbyes when the concert was over; they went to Oslo, while we went back to Lierfoss. Gro suggested earlier that evening, right before the concert began that I could come and help them get their new kitchen in place. They�d bought a lot of stuff at IKEA, they needed to get up. When we left, I reminded her that I would come and that we should call each other.

I texted Gro yesterday and I said I could come on thursday. She hasn�t texted me back yet. I�m not sure if she�s mad at me, because of the Kent concert and what I did. I hope not, but I can�t be sure. There might be a perfectly fine explanation for her not contacting me back. I tend to get my mind spinning off in the wrong direction. Maybe she just hadn�t had time to call / text me yet. What do you think?

I emailed Gro today about a festival we had plans to go to that is sold out. Maybe she will respond on that tomorrow? If she don�t respond on any of my contacts by friday, I seriously will start to think she�s pissed / angry at me.

Bleh � I hate this! Everything could�ve been solved by one phone call, but I�m not that kind of girl. I don�t dare call her and ask her if she�s mad at me. Call me a sissy, that�s ok. I know I am one. I�m not good at expressing feelings / emotions to friends. I don�t think I have one friendship where we can talk about absolutely everything. I can talk about a lot of stuff with a few of my friends, but my inner secrets and emotions do I keep for myself.

Well, you guys, you get the everything, almost everything at least. You get to know more than my friends does, more than anybody else does actually. I can tell you everything and you will just listen. That is good. That�s why I like expressing my thoughts, emotions and feelings here.

I will be very happy if I get a mail from Gro tomorrow. I hate not knowing where I stand. :-(

If you don�t include the bad stuff, the Kent concert was great. The special guest where a swedish singer named Anna Ternheim; she was great. I bought her CD yesterday. I like it more and more. It�s quiet music. I also bought a Kent CD; B-sides 95-00. 25 songs I�ve never heard before. Haven�t had time to listen to it yet.

Kent played for almost two hours. I loved the concert, Gro did it too. Linda liked it, but she didn�t love it. She started to say that it wasn�t worth 400 NOK. I couldn�t disagree more. It was totally worth the money. Concert is expensive these days. You can�t get a concert for less than 400 NOK if the band is famous and big. If they�re booked at large arenas, tents and concert halls, you got to pay that kind of money. I�m not sure she understands that.

If I wanted I could�ve continued written until the end of this week. There is more to tell from this weekend. I had a lovely saturday �beforenoon� / afternoon and my sunday wasn�t bad either. Today I�ve celebrated mums birthday and tomorrow is Linda coming; we�re going shopping.

But I�m too tired to write more. It�ll have to wait. Go see my new poem. I made it while working today. I like it a lot. Hope you do too.

Ciao!