Life thru a lens

A while ago, when mum and I were in Lillestr�m on our way to a football match, I saw Heidi, the girl that went in my class in elementary school. To get a picture of what she was like, read this. She was mean when she was younger, that's for sure.

Anyway, we said hi to each other, nothing more. She was sitting with a guy outside a pub drinking a beer or something. To my big satisfaction, she looked like shit! I walked away with a big smile on my face. I know I'm not a beauty queen, but I do think I look a little better than she did.

I remember one Christmas. It's two or three years ago. Linda and I were in church on Christmas Eve. While we sat there, we saw Heidi with one of her child. I can't remember if she had one or two kids then, but it doesn't matter. The thing I remember from that time was how she looked. She was like a mum, not well dressed and with a crazy kid that ran around everywhere. It was like she hadn't had time to get dressed and wore the clothes that she wears everyday. I guess she had enough time dealing with the wild child.

Seeing this gave me an inner satisfaction. "There you go, for doing what you did to me", I thought. "This is what you get in return for being such a bad ass kid".

Am I a bad person for having such thoughts? I know she was only a child when she teased me in school and that she probably didn't know any better, but still. Somehow I think she deserves it.

It's not nice of me to think like this, but I do. I should just let go, but I can't. This is not something that I think about very often though, just the times when I see her. And I don�t see her much, maybe once or twice a year.

But this is nothing compared to what I think about Monica, the other girl I went to class with. I haven�t seen her in years and that�s perfectly fine. I get angry every time I see her. It�s nothing I have much control over. I�ve never said anything to offend her or been physical with her. I gave her an evil look last time I saw her though. She stared back, obviously with no understanding of why I gave her the look. Heh!

I don�t know why I have this �thing� towards her. It�s 15 years since we went to elementary school together. I should�ve just let go of it. But does it really matter? I don�t see her anymore. I don�t have any contact with her what so ever. I doubt I�ll ever speak to her again.

I think I�m going to leave it with this. When I see Heidi again, I will probably give her a fake smile and say hello, and if I see Monica again I will either give her an evil eye or just look the other way and pretend I didn�t see her.

Ciao!