Life thru a lens

The oven is not an issue anymore. I�ll fix it myself, without my parents help. I talked to mum yesterday and told her I had to fix it myself, because I can�t wait until late July, early June to get it. It�s too long to wait, especially since I�ve waited almost a month already.

Mum told me that I maybe should concentrate on the outdoor table and chairs that I want, first. Nah, I want the oven more than the outdoor furniture. And, I�m actually capable of thinking about both of those things at the same time. About thinking I mean buying. I got money on my savings account I can use. The money is only going to be used if emergency, but I�m going to bend that rule. It�s a waste of money, just to leave them on the account. Don�t you agree?

I will pay between 500 and 600 NOK extra to get the oven delivered to my house. But they will take the old one with them and that�s great. I don�t think I have time to go down to the store tomorrow, even though it�s only a five minutes walk away. I�m not sure what I�m doing tomorrow. I think I will meet mum somewhere, dad too I hope.

Just been talking to mum. I�m going home tomorrow. We�ll be meeting after work. I�m not quite sure what will happen on Thursday then, when we all got the day off work. I asked if dad was going to the football match in Skien and all she said was �I guess so�. I didn�t have the guts to ask if she was going too, since I�m not sure how things are between them right now. I did say I might go with him to the match though. But in the next sentence I told her I had to go home and be with her too, if I was going to go with dad to the match. I guess it will be a day�s trip, and I don�t think mum is interested in that actually.

Why do things have to be so complicated? Why do I have to make them complicated? Sometimes it�s so hard to care so much for them. I don�t want to disappoint either one of them. If dad is going to the football match, I�m sure he wants me to come along. But if mum isn�t coming, I�m sure she wants me to be home with her so she won�t be lonely. What should I choose?

I should�ve just stayed here in Oslo and helped Hanne with the moving instead. It�s only my own fault I�m in the middle of this shit. I can only blame myself.

Sometimes I actually think it would be better if I didn�t care so much. It would be better if I didn�t give a shit and just did what I thought was best for me. It would be better not to think about anybody else than me. But in the end, I�m not like that. I care so much about others and their feelings. I want to what�s best for everybody. I know that sometimes you can�t please everybody at one time. But should you then choose to not please any, or choose one? And if you choose one (not yourself), witch one would it be?

My heads getting crazy thinking these thoughts. I think I just have to take it as it comes. Maybe I�ll talk to them and say I don�t know what to do? Maybe I�ll confront them, say I want to do both, be home and go to the match, but I don�t want to disappoint either of them. Maybe that�s the best thing to do?

Back the oven. I didn�t finish what I started. So I won�t be able to buy the oven tomorrow. Maybe not on Friday either. I might meet Gro and some people after work if the weather is nice. A new music channel (TV) is (to be viewed on cable-TV) is having a free concert to promote the new channel. It will be held in Middelalderparken (the middle-age-park) on Friday from 6 PM to midnight. Cool artists like Brian McFadden, Melanie C, Bertine Zetlitz, Kurt Nilsen, Robyn, Madrugada and many more are coming. If it�s not raining I�m going. It will be so much fun.

I don�t have any plans for Saturday yet, so that might be the day to buy the oven. I think I�m going for Saturday.

It�s time to go to bed now. If I end now and hurry I might be in bed before 11 PM. That would be something, wouldn�t it? I would be so shocked; I might not be able to fall asleep until midnight. Hahaha.

Ciao!