Life thru a lens

My emotions were like a roller coaster on saturday. My oh my! Having my period sucks big time.

I called mum in the morning. I thought she was in Oslo like she used to be on saturdays. She wasn�t. Both mum and dad were still home. Dad had a late training, not early like he use to. The first thing mum said when I called her what that she didn�t believe that they could go buy the oven I wanted today. She gave me no reason why. On top, dad had the late training so I might have to take the bus home. And, on top of all that, she didn�t have time to talk to me at all, because Hanne and Geir were there. She hung up almost before she answered the phone.

I got in a really bad mood; I almost started to cry actually. I crashed on the couch while listening to Springsteen and feeling miserable. I had no energy my mood was fucked up.

My mood rose when mum called me back later. She said they were coming with the trailer I assumed we were going to buy the oven. I was wrong. What they had planned was to bring home a lot of stuff that I�d said I wanted to get rid of. It was a good thing they came with the trailer, but I was sooooo disappointed that they didn�t want to buy the oven. I didn�t ask, but I just understood it when they disconnected to trailer from the car.

And if that wasn�t enough, the first thing mum does when she comes is to complain to me about how messy my apartment looks. I didn�t know that they were coming inside, so I hadn�t bothered tidying away all the clothes. She started to tidy right away. I got so angry, but I didn�t say anything. The second thing she complained about was how dirty my livingroom table was. �I don�t think you have cleaned up your apartment since last time I was here� she said to me. Mum wasn�t in a good mood apparently.

My mood didn�t get any better when dad saw my small kitchen tiles that I still haven�t gotten up, and made fun of them. How rude of him. It�s ok for him not to like them, but he doesn�t have to make fun of them in front of me.

When we got in the car and started to drive downtown, dad asked me when my intentions was to invest in a new oven? When? Fucking when? I've been eager to buy this fucking oven for a month now. I didn't say it out loud, I just thought it. I was shocked by his question that all I could say was 'as soon as possible'. Mum said that she didn't think they would have time before the school ended and their summer vacation in late June started. She also pointed out that they were very busy when the vacation started too.

All of these things mixed up in my head, almost made me cry. I was so close to cry when I sat in the back of the car on the way downtown. I had to hold my tears back. I barely said anything until we sat down on the french caf� 15 minutes later. We didn�t stay long. After a while, mum just said we could go home. I didn�t mind at all. So we went home.

It was clearly that mum and dad had some issues they needed to solve. It�s easy to see when they�re not in their best mood. And I, I don�t feel well when they�re like that. I hate it. I wish I could just overlook it and don�t care, it�s not my problem that they�re having a discussion / are angry at each other. I feel so bad inside when they�re like that.

I�m so glad that I was going to visit Linda that evening. I had something to look forward to. It was great to see Linda again. She was at her parents� house when I called her and she came and picked me up. We went her and OJ�s new house. It was great to see it. First Linda showed me around and after the tour was over, we sat down and talked. We talked for a very long time. Around 9 PM we went home to her parents� house again. I went inside, said hello to her parents and brother, we all talked for a while before I went home.

Mum and dad weren�t talking when I came home. Great! When I woke up sunday morning, still they weren�t talking to each other. They didn�t talk to each until they had a �blow-out� outside the house when they were raking the lawn. I�m pretty sure that mum started it.

When I went to bed saturday evening, I decided not to be in a bad mood the next day. Why be grumpy just because of the oven. Why not smile and make the best out of it. When I woke up and saw that they weren�t talking to each other, I couldn�t make myself happy. I was miserable almost all day because they weren�t talking to each other. How fun do you think that was?

At one point, I asked mum if she was joining me for the football match later that day. She made it really clear that she was not coming. I suggested she could see the match at the TV, since it was aired there. She made that really clear too, that she wasn�t.

So I had to go to the match all by myself. I drove with dad. My plan was to meet Hanne and Geir at the match. We had seats next to each other. But just to make the day complete, Hanne called me and canceled. She was sick and couldn�t come after all.

The match was really exiting and fun. LSK played against RBK; witch has won the league 13. times at a row. We played very well, but it only ended 1-1. Too bad we didn�t won, we had deserved to win. But I was surprised it went so well. When the rest of the day had been so shitty, I wouldn�t have been surprised if the match had been too.

Dad drove me home after the match. We had a nice ride home to my apartment. We talked about the match. I talked to mum after the match too and she said I had to make sure that dad drove safely home. That was sweet. That made me hope that they were almost back to normal.

Today I�m not quite sure. Mum took the bus home today, while dad was at a football match. And when I talked to her a while ago I mentioned that dad had mentioned something about a football match in Skien on thursday. I don�t think I should�ve mentioned that for her. Bah! I don�t think dad has said anything to her about it. He uses to pop up with things like that in the last minute. Bad thing to do.

I hope I haven�t done anything to make it worse again, by saying what I said.

Bleh! Now I just want to go to bed and sleep. I also want to call mum and make sure she�s ok, but it�s too late to call. If the clock had been 10 PM, I could�ve called, found something silly that I had to ask her, and then checked if she was in a good mood or not. I don�t have to be present to see if they�re ok with each other.

I�ll check tomorrow.

Ciao!