Life thru a lens

Lydia left me a comment yesterday where she wrote 'I admire how you are so close to your parents'.

Yeah, I'm close to my parents and that's nice. It's good to have a good relationship with your parents, being able to talk to them and spend time with them without feeling it is something you have to do. I wonder how it is not to close to your parents. I know people that only see their parents a few times a year and when you see them, it's out of obligation. It's a strange thought.

But... you know - there's always a but. I sometimes, well rather often, feel like I'm to close to them. I'm not independent enough. There is an invisible chain between us that is almost unbreakable. And that chain isn�t a good one, not for me at least. I�m sure that mum and dad likes it. Since I�m the youngest child, they need to keep track on me. They got to protect me and make sure I�m ok all the time. It�s not like that with Hanne. Sometimes I feel like I�m mums (precious) little girl.

It�s hard to make them understand that I have my own life and that they can�t keep track on me all the time. They can�t freak out if I�m not reachable a saturday afternoon / evening / night. Mum has to learn how to control / �tame� her imagination. If she can�t reach me a saturday evening, she can�t make assumptions like I�m half-dead somewhere, not knowing where I am and without my cellphone. I�m just out of reach. Simple as that.

I�ve tried to confront her and dad with it, but I�m not sure it has helped. Mum often just laugh at it and says that�s just who she is. Well, if that is who she is, she has to change. She doesn�t have to try, she actually have to change.

To my big surprise, mum hasn�t called me so much lately. I�m not sure what the reason is. It�s been like this the two last weeks. Like yesterday, she didn�t call to see if I had come safely home. She called me when I waited for the bus at Lillestr�m, but normally she would�ve called me when I went off the bus and she would�ve wanted to talk all the way home. She hasn�t called me today either.

I think I have to call her or dad tomorrow. I would be best if I didn�t do just to check if one of them called me though. But I have to ask them about the buying of the oven. I can wait and call in the evening, around 10 PM.

Oh � I just have to write a very sweet story about my cat, Pelle. It was so nice to see him this weekend. When I left yesterday, mum and Pelle sat on the doorstep and watched me going. Mum had to hold him so he wouldn�t follow me to the busstop on the other side of the road. When I came over on the other side, I saw mum out on the end of the lawn beside the storehouse on pillars. She tried to tell me something with her hands, but I didn�t understand. She run inside and I called her. What she wanted to tell me was that Pelle stood / sat in front of one of the pillars looking at me.

I looked for a while and then I saw him. It was so sweet. He stood their watching me go. I guess he wondered why I had to leave him. He stood in front of the pillar until he�d seen the bus leave. When I drove by him and he saw I wasn�t there on the busstop, he started to walk away. Don�t I have the sweetest cat ever?

Ciao!