Life thru a lens

Is it horrible to say you're going to do something and then change your mind afterwards? When Lisbeth visited me earlier this month, she invited me to her birthdayparty. She's going to have a party together with her friend Kim (male friend). I know who he is, i've been partying with him a few times before. I don't remember when it is, but it's either the second, third eller fourth saturday in February. She asked me if I had any plans, and I said no. Because I didn't. So I said I would come.

Today I spoke to Linda. She (well someone she knew) invited me to a carnaval the 19th of Feb. I said yes right away. I completely forgot about Lisbeth's birthday. When I hung up with Linda, then remembered. I'm not sure witch saturday Lisbeth's birthdayparty is going to be, I can't remember, but I think it is the same saturday as the carnaval.

I want to attend both of the parties, but if I have to choose... I honestly wants to go the carnaval. Am I a bad friend? I promised Lisbeth before I said yes to the carnaval. I'm ditching a birthdayparty and I'm choosing a carnaval.

I sent Lisbeth a textmessage on the cellphone. First I asked for a wishlist for birthdaygifts. Then I asked when the party would be and said I'd forgotten I'd said yes to a carnaval the 19th. I told her I hoped it didn't collide. I gave her a sad smilyface at the end.

I really hope it don't collide, because I do want to be at her birthday. But as I said, if I have to choose....

I feel so horrible. Lisbeth hasn't answered yet. Does she think I'm ditching her party? I really don't hope so. But I can't blame her if she does either. I feel like such a horrible friend now. I serve her a little white lie and act bad. If someone had done that to me, I would've felt sad.

The friendship I have with Lisbeth is a bit weird. I'm not completely honest with her in a way. She has some strong bad qualities, like her nonestop yapping - very often about uninteresting stuff. I play along and pretend to be interessted.

But even though it is sides that I don't like, she's still a nice friend. We have fun together I enjoy her company most of the time. Just not too much at the time. Too much of here at the same time, is to overwelming.

Lisbeth is the one of my friends I'm farest away. I'm closer to my other friends. It's not that I'm so far away Lisbeth, but I've closer to the other friends.

I hope Lisbeth is online tomorrow, when I'm at work. I'm going to talk to her and find out when she's going to have her party.

I'm going to bed now. I will be thinking of this thing. Is it right of me to ditch someones birthdayparty , just because you want to do something else that you think will be more fun? Comments please. Help me out!

Ciao!

PS. On top of this, I got my period today. Bleeh!